Performing a refresh of your service management system isn’t a dirty job with the Unified Service Management (USM) method, because the painstaking effort of normalizing the dizzying array of service management practice frameworks has been done for you.

The 5 processes in the USM process model form an extremely simple, comprehensive, integrated, non-redundant “end-to-end” process model for a service organization. This unique integrated process modeling for service providers can be easily learned, applied, and supported with tools, using no more than 8 standardized USM workflow templates for all your service management activities.

[Taken from: The seven dirtiest jobs in IT]


Legacy systems archaeologist

WANTED: INDIVIDUALS FAMILIAR WITH 3270, VAX/VMS, COBOL, AS/400, AND OTHER LEGACY SYSTEMS NO ONE ELSE REMEMBERS. MUST BE ABLE TO TYPE ENTIRELY IN CAPITAL LETTERS FOR EXTENDED PERIODS. APPLICANTS MUST MEET MINIMUM AGE REQUIREMENT OF 55

Help desk zombie

Excellent entry-level opportunity for multitasking individual with low self-esteem. Ability to read from scripts a plus. Potential to move up to bug scraper, password reset technician, or tape rotation coordinator.

On-site reboot specialist

Seeking individuals for on-site support of end-users. Must be familiar with three-fingered Ctrl-Alt-Del salute and power cord reconfiguration. Ability to withstand a variety of environments and personality types; concealed-weapons permit a plus. Individuals with anger management issues need not apply.

Interdepartmental peace negotiator

Looking for self-starter skilled at moderating tech disputes between warring factions within the same company or between company and its client. Must possess experience in ego-stroking, manipulative massage, and hand-to-hand combat.

Enterprise espionage engineer (black ops)

Seeking slippery individuals comfortable with lying, cheating, stealing, breaking, and entering for penetration testing of enterprise networks. Requirements include familiarity with hacking, malware, and forgery; must be able to plausibly impersonate a pest control specialist or a fire marshal. Please submit rap sheet along with resume.

Datacenter migration specialist

Position involves relocating and reconfiguring datacenter over impossible distances within a ridiculously short time frame. Prior experience as cable jockey, rack-n-stack grunt, console monkey, and/or log zombie a plus.

Sludge systems architect

Seeking individuals with demonstrated ability to squeeze over, under, or between confined spaces to solve technical problems. Candidates should be prepared to work long hours for low pay under adverse conditions. Must not be allergic to sawdust, vermin, airborne pathogens, or sewage.



So, a Service Management Architect doesn’t have to be a person that gets every part of the enterprise to comply with a single practice framework, establishes a single universal organizational topology and forces the entire workforce onto a single toolset that nobody likes.

Service management is everyone’s business. So, while simplifying service management for the enterprise isn’t necessarily easy, it doesn’t have to be a dirty job.

At least not with the USM method.

Published by myservicemonitor

I am an independent service management consultant with two decades of experience helping customers.

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