💥 Salesforce just swaggered into ITSM like a Wall Street banker at a service management cocktail party — waving promises of “agentic IT” while sharpening the beak of another vampire squid.
And the last thing the enterprise needs is another vampire squid wrapped in code. We’ve already got enough of them sucking the life, money, and sanity out of our organizations. (See my piece: Service Management’s Vampire Squids).
Here’s the savage truth: Service management was never just IT’s playground. HR, Finance, Facilities, Customer Service — every one of them runs on incidents, changes, and requests. But IT keeps clinging to its acronyms and complexity, and vendors keep selling them bigger, bloodier squids.
What we need isn’t another bloated ITSM platform.
What we need is a management system that cuts through the noise: 5 processes, 8 workflows, one universal language. That’s USM.
So maybe Salesforce should stop chasing IT’s fever dream of complexity and start asking the real stakeholders — the business — what the hell they actually need.
Because the future isn’t ITSM.
It’s USM.
And it sure as hell isn’t another squid.